05 juin 2009
International Squat Jet-Set
the title is from an e-mail I received from Amelia Mae Paradise, a performer from the American burlesque troupe The Diamond Daggers, a few days after we met in a squat in Amsterdam (yeah, the one I was talking about in this post). I liked the expression.
these past months, we've been specializing in welcoming
international queers in our community with warmth, and i'm working
on keeping the tradition alive ! i know how annoying it is to be in a
city, and to know there is a queer community somewhere but not to be able
to get hold of it. in NYC i cried at night because i was too shy to
approach the few butches i saw in the metro/streets, and ask them if they could show me around the queer new york. i wasn't 21 yet so i
couldn't get in bars and clubs where i would have met people... this
law on alcohol consumption is fucking homophobic. i don't even drink alcohol !
no but
seriously. i'm reading this text right now by Gayle Rubin that's
explaining how the state wants to make it hard for
migrating/travelling young members of sexual minorities to find the people,
parties and places they're looking for in the cities where they go. as a minority-community,
it's very much political to try to make yourself inclusive, accessible,
and not rejecting, to newcomers.
Totally unrelated
I usually choose to make a very clear separation between my private
sexlife and my mainstream on-camera sexwork, which is why I try not to take too much
sexual pleasure out of what I do in porn. The people I do porn scenes with are not the type of partners I pursue in my private sex life, and the sexual practices I show in porn scenes are not the ones I enjoy in my private sex life.
I like to keep some things to
myself, and I think exposing the more sacred and intimate parts of what
I enjoy, sexually speaking, would be damaging.
The only times I
resort to sexual practises I really enjoy while at work, is when I am
having a hard time being relaxed/wet/open enough to do my job well. On these occasions, I request some sort of "fluffing" from the people I'm working with. But in any case when I can avoid it, I do. Porn is
a job to me, and it gives me professional gratification to do it well, not sexual gratification - although I do have orgasms during shoots pretty often. Sex, to me, is much more than (or at least different from) the in-and-out of someone's genitals in my genitals.
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