22 juin 2009
Europe de l'égalité mon cul !
La Lituanie est un pays membre de l'Union Européenne situé au bord de la mer baltique.
La LGL (Lithuanian Gay League) n'a jamais été autorisée a organiser de
Pride ni aucun évènement à Vilnius, la capitale. Le parlement de Lituanie vient de voter une loi sur la «protection des
mineurs» qui interdit dans le pays toute représentation positive des relations homosexuelles, bisexuelles ou polygames. 67 députés ont voté pour, trois contre, et quatre
se sont abstenus. Plus d'infos ici. Il faut faire quelque chose !
Au même moment aux Pays-Bas, où les gays et les lesbiennes ont pourtant le droit de se marier, semble souffler un vent réactionnaire. Le gouvernement avait consulté le Conseil d'Etat après un licenciement survenu il y a quelques mois dans une école protestante. Celui-ci vient de rendre son avis : les écoles protestantes néerlandaises ont le droit licencier les enseignants et les pasteurs qui ont des relations homosexuelles, même si cela ne sort pas du cadre de leur vie privée. Un article ici. C'est maintenant aux députés qu'il revient d'examiner l'avis du conseil.
En France le don du sang n'est toujours pas ouvert aux pédés, malgré le manque de dons qui pourraient sauver des vies. Signer la pétition. Le sang donné est systématiquement testé, c'est donc par souci de rentabilité et non de sécurité que cette politique discriminatoire est maintenue (malgré les effets d'annonce de Bachelot qui avait promis son arrêt). Les médecins de l'EFS avec qui j'ai eu l'occasion de discuter de la question ont répondu "on ne va pas prendre le sang de gens qui passent leur temps à jouer dans leur caca" et des choses du même genre.
Le premier festival trans et intersex d'Espagne a commencé aujourd'hui. Il dure jusqu'au 26 juin, à Barcelone. Films espagnols, français, argentins, américains, coréens, turcs... Certains acteurs et réalisateurs seront présents. Et c'est GRATUIT !!!
Un classement des 100 butchs (et autres personnes transmasculines) les plus HOT vient d'être mis en ligne ! ça coûte rien et ça fait du bien : allez vous rincer l'oeil !
Et voici un annuaire de blogs de gouines, ça peut être un outil sympa pour perdre une journée sur son ordi à rien faire d'autre que lire des bluettes romantiques, des annonces de soirées électro et des coups de gueule contre l'intolérance. Oh ça va je rigole ! (au fait j'ai mis mon blog dessus, votez pour moi !)
18 juin 2009
Self-centered narcissistic blahblah
Someone just rang the door bell, and it was a UPS delivery guy.
I knew what was in the box.
TWO NEW DICKS I BOUGHT FOR MY BOYFRIEND'S BIRTHDAY !
One pink (to replace the old one who was tired), one black.
They're so beautiful !
Mr Bendy, also known as Silky, is exactly the right size for me, and
incredibly soft. It's a pack&play, or hardpack, which means you can
both use it for penetrative sex and as a packer. It's also perfect for oral sex, and especially deep throat. I LOVE IT !
I've been wondering about my life, and I haven't been so well. I've
been taking anxiety medication and considering maybe going into
psychoanalysis.
But then that raises many questions, like will shrinks ever tell you
anything else than what they learnt in books written by a straight white
man strongly influenced by judeo-christian mentality and full of
heteronormative and misogynistic/homophobic prejudices (either Freud,
Jung or Lacan) ? how can I find a shrink who is BDSM-friendly,
queer-friendly, polyamory-friendly AND sexwork-friendly in this city ?
Anyway. I need to find a way out of my codependance issues, my
affective neediness and insecurity, and other problems. I have started
to take some steps towards taking better care of myself, and not
indulging too much in parts of me that hurt me and others. Strategies when I feel anxiety coming, to make it less hard on me and others. I'm quite
proud that I'm so strong and that I'm still able to be happy after all this time.
My relationship is getting better too, and that also makes me feel better. What
makes me feel really good is how much thought we give to it, how hard we
try to find better ways of communicating, etc - and how successful it's
been these days. I have a great partner. I love talking about a lot of things with him, politics and TV-series and our friends and sex and our relationship and parties and how my day went and how I love him and just anything. It feels good to be doing something else than fighting or having sex - not that I mind the sex. This morning's quickie before you went to work... Breathtaking.
The summer, and my therefore outrageously sexy outfits, seem to make
guys think they have a right to talk to me, comment on how I look, or
even grab me and grope me, when I'm walking in the streets.
Yesterday I was literally harassed by men in the streets - stared at,
"complimented", whistled at, approached, physically threatened, and,
yes, grabbed and groped.
On a night like that one, no matter how many times you assault me, I'll
fight back, I'll chase you on my high heels, screaming "what makes you
think you have a right to touch me ?", I'll stride the streets and feel
fierce and powerful, I won't lower my eyes when I pass you by, and I
won't stop wearing what I want to wear and going out late
at night on my own in so-called dangerous areas.
Maybe the fact that I was feeling better and more open to others, has
something to do with how many times they tried to make me feel that I was there for them to see and that they owned me. I had been such a socialite at the burlesque
party and I had felt so happy to be around people. And then maybe when I left the party I forgot to protect myself from the outside world, I was just euphoric and smily, and the guys thought it was sexual seduction aimed at them, which it was not. I am vulnerable, and I don't want to harden, I don't want to wear an armour. I want to let you reach me, I want to let your bullets pierce through my skin. That's the only way I can make your love pierce through it too. If my skin gets thick and tough, nothing will get in me anymore.
So I am like a Christian martyr, trusting them forever, giving them still another chance not to disappoint me. Always answering them when they ask for directions, a lighter, a cigarette, even if it might just be an excuse to talk to me and then become annoying. Always with a bright smile and as much charity as I can. Always offering help even when I'm not asked anything. Cheerful, warm, open. I know some of them are bad, and it will hurt all the more that I had decided to trust them and give them the opportunity of showing me they're good. If they abuse my trust, if they decide to hurt me although they knew I wasn't defiant - I was as trustful as a child - it will damage me. But if they prove me right, if they see me being so good and naive and open and don't take advantage of it, it will make me all the more thankful, it will give me more strength to keep believing in people and loving them and having this cheesy Christian humanism. [Where the fuck did I get that from ? please don't believe I'm writing all of this without distance and irony. I'm obviously aware that it is weird, fucked up, laughable, simplistic, childish, manichean. However it's also how I know myself to think sometimes]
This is also, I think, what is at stake in the emotions I feel in BDSM.
I give you all the power. To me it's not a scene, not a game, it's not play. I don't act. I get into a space, a space of weakness and
trust, which is a part of me, not a character. I put myself in a position where I'd let you rape or kill me - and you don't. I give you power to abuse me and you use it for my pleasure, not just yours - although you know I'm so submissive at that moment I might not even resent you abusing me. And that, giving up all the control, giving you so much of myself, giving you power to hurt me, and knowing you will only use it with love and respect : that is what makes me so incredibly thankful after a BDSM scene. That is what brings me so close to tears during aftercare. I love you for not hurting me, for how good you are to me. For how you let me be an open, trusting, innocent, vulnerable, welcoming person, without punishing me or abusing me.
It's always seemed such a horrible thing to me, how good people become hard and bad because there is this social pressure, this norm of defiance and distrust and selfishness. Kind people are always punished for being kind and they're either killed, or made to harden. Kindness is regarded as weakness, trust as naiveness.
I like to hitchhike, I like to ask strangers a favor, I like to give people the possibility to reject me, so that they also have a possibility to accept me. I like to give people an opportunity to show the best that they have.
Ok this was written all in one piece and I didn't re-read it or try to make it consistent and understandable and well-written - like almost everything I write here, by the way. I had an appointment with the shrink, I didn't go. I wrote this instead. It's some sort of a confession, not an argumentative well-thought-of, well-worked-on, logically-structured text - so don't read it or criticize it as such.
My wisdom teeth are growing and it HURTS !
In less than a month, I'm going on a European tour with several other girls. We'll perform in Berlin, Brussels, Paris, Copenhagen, Stockholm... I'm excited and scared at the same time.
And in August I'll be in San Francisco !
There are so many things I want to write about on this blog. Interesting, theoretical, political things.
And instead I find myself talking about my life. Oh well, it's fine too.
Alright. That's all for now.
Art & Culture
Ce soir (jeudi 18 juin) vernissage de l'expo Weird & Wonderful, dans le cadre du JerkOff festival. 19h, à la galerie Loft 19 - Suzanne Tarasiève, passage de l'Atlas, métro Belleville.
Demain (vendredi 19 juin), projection du documentaire "Les travailleu(r)ses du sexe" de Jean-Michel Carré. 20h30, au cinéma Utopia Stella, 1 place Mendès-France, Saint-Ouen l'Aumône.
Le 4 juillet il y a une nuit Russ Meyer dans le cadre de la Nuit du Cinéma, en clôture du festival Paris-Cinéma. c'est au cinéma du Panthéon, 13 rue Victor Cousin, métro Luxembourg. je crois que c'est 5€ par film, pas sure.
tous les quinze jours, le samedi, à minuit, a été lancée depuis peu l'Absurde Séance de Paris. au Nouveau Latina, 20 rue du Temple. 5€, et ils prennent la carte UGC. je pense qu'ils vont passer des trucs bien.
17 juin 2009
The US porn industry, HIV, STDs and STIs, and condoms
Here are the articles that Jiz Lee, Courtney Trouble, Baby Sinead, Audacia Ray, wrote on the matter.
I might write one too, sometime, when I have time.
12 juin 2009
Answer to some pornblogger
Alright, I got a bit fired up. What this guy is saying isn't so insulting really - I understand his point, and even if he was really insulting me and didn't have a point, it's not a big deal either. Just a pornblogger using his freedom of speech on the Internet, not harming anyone. It's just late at night, I had three exams today and I have another one tomorrow and I should be working on it, and so I found a way to procrastinate by answering that guy. It made me angry though, how he's making such a cliché of me, and what he says is not fair.
http://artandporn.com/judy-minx-mix-and-a-hilarious-sasha-grey-blog/
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Hey,
I'm Judy Minx, and I've been a porn actress for two years now.
I'm not an existentialist, and I am not a philosophy student at the Sorbonne.
I do have North African blood though - you got that one right.
My thoughts about sexwork are NOT excuses to legitimize my career. I actually say on several occasions in articles of my blog that the political and theoretical aspects of sexwork are NOT the reason why I do porn. I do porn because porn is the best way, or at least the most suitable to my skills, tastes and needs, that I have found to make money - I do my job for just about the same reasons that most people do their jobs.
The reason why I write about the theoretical and political aspects of sexwork are NOT because it's "hip" either. I write about them because I am and have always been interested in non-conventional sexual choices - sex for money, kinky / BDSM sex, and queer sex. How and why the people who make these choices are oppressed minorities. This is what I talk and think about most. Sometimes I use "pseudo-intellectual language" to write about that and maybe it's because I've been told that sex isn't a serious matter or cannot be intelligently and rationally discussed, that I over-compensate with academic language.
I don't mind that you prefer the anal shots - fair enough. I am glad that people watch my porn and jerk off to it. That is what it's for. As I've written on my blog too : I don't make porn that has huge subtitles saying "this person is a sexworker, she is a respectable person who is intelligent and fights for political rights". I make porn for people to jerk off to. Most of them won't give a fuck who I am, and what I'm thinking. And it's fine. My blog is not for them. My blog is for the people who want to read it. It has happened to me sometimes to be interested in what such or such porn actress had to say. Plus, my blog doesn't only target porn-watchers like you, but also people who've never seen my porn, and among them people who think porn is evil. In lots of articles I am trying to write for them. This pseudo-intellectual language is the only one they'll take seriously.
I don't mind that you're not interested in my blog. I mind the contempt and sarcasm in your post. It's so easy to joke about it, from where you stand. You are not confronted with what it means to be asked a hundred questions a day about your job, by people who think you are either a victim of patriarchy or someone with low moral standards. There's also the people who are "just curious" and can't help asking intrusive questions. You are not the one who gets harassed by a society that thinks it's such a big deal to fuck for money. People keep telling me what I should and should not do, questioning my choices, asking me to justify myself. It gets in you. After you've been asked the question a hundredth time, you ask yourself. You doubt. You wonder. You feel like you have to answer them, you feel that you have to find a thousand intellectual and political reasons for what you're doing, although you shouldn't have to answer more questions than any other person who's working any job.
You know what ? I'd like it to be so easy and widely accepted, that I wouldn't have to ask myself these questions. Mostly, my blogposts about porn and sexwork were not written spontaneously, out of the blue: they were written as answers to questions I was asked, to someone who called me anti-feminist, to someone who said they pitied me. This text I'm writing right now will end up on my blog. I'm angry that you're making fun of how I'm made to think about this all the time. Seriously, I'm tired of it too. But as long as most people will think sex can't be work, I'll feel it's my mission to explain that yes, it's my job, and I'm a worker.
---------
Dans le même registre :
je réponds à un commentaire d'un mec qui dit que l'enfance malheureuse de la pauvre Lorelei Lee explique pourquoi elle a choisi de devenir actrice porno qui est évidemment un job dans lequel elle se fait exploiter par des mafieux.
Similar situation :
I answer to a comment written by a guy who thinks poor Lorelei Lee's unhappy childhood explains why she chose to become a porn actress, which is obviously a job in which she gets terribly exploited by evil pimps.
"Hey dumbass, what about YOUR life ?
Was your life a happy life ?
Has one single person ever tried to explain to you that the reasons why
you chose the job you’re working are linked to childhood traumas ? What about a person you’d never seen or talked to ? What about a hundred people you’d never seen or talked to ? What about a thousand ?
THAT is abuse. The way we as porn actresses can’t get a fucking break from amateur psychoanalyses.
%@$# dammit it pisses me off !"
--------
Talking about powerful women in porn, Madison Young has a brand new website and it's amazing !
And it was designed by another powerful porn woman, Courtney Trouble !
-----
And finally, I wanted to share this great quote with you :
"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a terrible warning"
Apparently it's Catherine Aird who said it, I have no idea who that is and I won't research it now.
08 juin 2009
Existrans
Hier avait lieu la première réunion d'organisation de l'Existrans 2009 - l'Existrans est la marche des trans et des intersex. La réunion rassemblait des personnes représentant diverses orgas et collectifs (OUTrans, l'InterTrans, le MAG, Act-Up...) ainsi que des personnes parlant en leur nom individuel.
Nous avons fixé la date de la manifestation au 10 octobre.
Nous avons également discuté du parcours de la marche, et des objectifs qu'elle aura cette année.
La prochaine réunion aura lieu le 5 juillet.
Le compte-rendu de la réunion, ainsi que les dates, lieux et horaires des prochaines réus, seront sur ce site :
http://existrans.org
Faites circuler l'information de manière à ce que toutes les orgas concernées puissent se joindre à l'élaboration de la marche.
Nous tenons particulièrement à ce que cette année, l'Existrans ne soit
pas exclusivement parisienne, et que des collectifs de province se
joignent à nous. Dans une perspective d'élargissement européen, la date a été choisie pour coïncider avec celle de la marche trans espagnole.
----
Aucun rapport, mais je suis trop soûlée que les rares ouvrages queers qui sont traduits en français soient aussi mal traduits. j'avais déjà râlé sur ce blog contre la traduction de Califia publiée par la Musardine sous le titre Sexe et Utopie ; je suis actuellement en train de lire Marché au Sexe, de Judith Butler et Gayle Rubin, publié chez Epel. Il y a des maladresses, voire des fautes de traduction, qui me font grincer des dents.
Passons sur l'usage de "opportunité" pour "occasion" - ça m'énerve, mais c'est juste du purisme débile.
Passons aussi sur "la communauté gay-mâle cuir", qui devait probablement être "the gay male leather community" dans le texte original - je sais pas si c'est moi, mais franchement je trouve que "gay-mâle cuir" c'est pas du français.
Mais lorsqu'on traduit "reproductive rights" par "le droit à la reproduction", ça me paraît être carrément un contresens. Les reproductive rights, en anglais, c'est la planification familiale - la contraception, l'avortement... Les moyens
et méthodes qui permettent de conformer à la volonté des parents le nombre
et l'espacement des naissances. Pas le droit à la reproduction.
05 juin 2009
International Squat Jet-Set
the title is from an e-mail I received from Amelia Mae Paradise, a performer from the American burlesque troupe The Diamond Daggers, a few days after we met in a squat in Amsterdam (yeah, the one I was talking about in this post). I liked the expression.
these past months, we've been specializing in welcoming
international queers in our community with warmth, and i'm working
on keeping the tradition alive ! i know how annoying it is to be in a
city, and to know there is a queer community somewhere but not to be able
to get hold of it. in NYC i cried at night because i was too shy to
approach the few butches i saw in the metro/streets, and ask them if they could show me around the queer new york. i wasn't 21 yet so i
couldn't get in bars and clubs where i would have met people... this
law on alcohol consumption is fucking homophobic. i don't even drink alcohol !
no but
seriously. i'm reading this text right now by Gayle Rubin that's
explaining how the state wants to make it hard for
migrating/travelling young members of sexual minorities to find the people,
parties and places they're looking for in the cities where they go. as a minority-community,
it's very much political to try to make yourself inclusive, accessible,
and not rejecting, to newcomers.
Totally unrelated
I usually choose to make a very clear separation between my private
sexlife and my mainstream on-camera sexwork, which is why I try not to take too much
sexual pleasure out of what I do in porn. The people I do porn scenes with are not the type of partners I pursue in my private sex life, and the sexual practices I show in porn scenes are not the ones I enjoy in my private sex life.
I like to keep some things to
myself, and I think exposing the more sacred and intimate parts of what
I enjoy, sexually speaking, would be damaging.
The only times I
resort to sexual practises I really enjoy while at work, is when I am
having a hard time being relaxed/wet/open enough to do my job well. On these occasions, I request some sort of "fluffing" from the people I'm working with. But in any case when I can avoid it, I do. Porn is
a job to me, and it gives me professional gratification to do it well, not sexual gratification - although I do have orgasms during shoots pretty often. Sex, to me, is much more than (or at least different from) the in-and-out of someone's genitals in my genitals.
03 juin 2009
Agenda Juin
Donc, en plus de la soirée du 6 juin, chez Moune (ALLEZ-Y !), du festival identiT, du 11 au 14 juin (ALLEZ-Y !), et de la sexparty du 26 juin (ALLEZ-Y !), il y a plein d'autres trucs en juin :
demain mercredi 3 juin : QueerFoodForLove
dîner vegan et queer, pas cher ou à prix libre,
à la Rôtisserie Ste-Marthe, 4 rue sainte Marthe, métro Belleville.
vous pouvez venir vers 15 heures pour cuisiner, et vers 20h30 pour manger.
14 juin, 20h : Kbaret des Miches,
à la Péniche Antipode, en face du 55 Quai de Seine,
métro Stalingrad/Riquet, 8€/10€
17 juin, 21h : les Kisses Cause Trouble
à la Pena Festayre, parvis de la Cité des Sciences, 32 avenue Corentin Cariou,
métro Porte de la Villette, 7€/10€
sur réservations uniquement : cie.thekissescausetrouble@gmail.com
23 et 24 juin : les Kisses Cause Trouble + PINKIE
au Tango, 13 rue au Maire,
métro Arts et Métiers
Toutes les infos et flyers sur cette page.
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